just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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