we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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