wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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