Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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