I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
