I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
