didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
