so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
