If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
