look no pants
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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