Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
