I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
