Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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