last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
