College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
