Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
