..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
