sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
whose parrot is this?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
