Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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