we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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