just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
