The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
