I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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