i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
