What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My penis needs a shock collar
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize