i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
