I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Two words: blizzard sex
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
