Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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