Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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