you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
birth control should be required to get into college
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
