now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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