I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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