He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
