I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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