The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
