well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
my liver is dry heaving
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize