So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
