He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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