She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
