I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize