I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
PANTIES FOUND
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