Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You smell like stripper and shame
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
