Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
