omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
