gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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