The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
