i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
