How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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