i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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