Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
