Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize