Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I will pee on everything he values.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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