i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
