if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
