So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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