brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
