i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
