Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
