I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
