just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
