If i come over, it means nothing
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
