Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
