She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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