Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
