Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
