His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
