My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize